Recent funnies

Drew, upon hearing that this will be one of his latest mornings ever: "Eh, I've had worse."

Erin, about her new cat (Princess Alyssa): "Mommy, she's very embarrassed about her loud meowing."

Drew, about my recent bout of terrible headaches: "I sort of feel your pain."

Erin, to Andrew: "Drew, that was NOT APPROPRIATE!"

Christmas program pictures

Our church's Christmas program was on December 14th. Since we don't have a large number of children we took pictures ahead of time and turned them into a slideshow about Christ's birth. The older kids then narrated the slide show and the congregation helped the kiddos sing familiar Christmas carols. Drew had a small duet called "See the Baby" and he did a terrific job. He was also a reader with the older kids. In my (admittedly subjective) opinion, he read as well as the kids twice his age--slowly enough to be understood and with all the proper emotion!

Here are the wise men worshipping baby Jesus:
Baby Jesus is in the manger, surrounded by animals. I hope the pink monkey wasn't too cheeky--Erin insisted he come along:

It was too cold to use the neighbor's sheep so we made do with posterboard facsimiles:

Fall fun

These are taken from Thanksgiving at Adam and Reg's house (my brother and sister-in-law):

Want to lose weight during this holiday season?

I've got just the thing for you: keep this piece of writing by Drew Sillery handy.

"Please don't eat me" (as if written by a turkey)

"Please don't eat me. Eat anything instead. You should not eat me because I will get homesick and I won't be good. I still won't be any good if I'm away because I'll have diarrhea. I don't want to have diarrhea."

Our little Booger

This one cracked me up! Tonight Erin was playing house with me. Instead of being the "big sister" or the "little sister" or even "Baby Mattea", this time she had me play the part of a dog. Apparently I'm quite the dog because she offered me her gymnastics leotard and took me to the zoo. Snoopy never got this much action. At any rate, whilst barking and whatnot, I discovered that Erin had a giant booger on her cheek. Trying to stay in character, I barked, "Woof! Woof! Arf! You have a booger on your cheek. Ruff!" Erin felt around for it, found it, and proceeded to flick. Well, yuck. I abandoned character completely and said, "Erin! You're supposed to put that in a trash can." To which she responded, "I KNOW! But YOU AREN'T ABLE TO TALK!"

But in more positive news, tonight she let me do a little phonics work with her and she was totally getting it. I think with a few more months' work she'll be able to sound out some words. I think I'll start with words like "kleenex" and "tissue".

My little canaries

They get it from me. I love to sing...mostly badly, but I love to do it anyway. When the kiddos were in diapers, I'd make up a song about it. When they were taking a bath, I'd make up a song about it. I'm probably the only person who got a laminated card from her daughter's preschool on Mother's Day saying that I was special because "You sing the 'Burp Song' to me."

So last night the entire Dawg family went out to see Madagascar and eat Chinese food. On the way home, I'm having a discussion up front with Bruce when I start paying attention to the kiddos in the back. Drew is crooning "Baraaaaack Ooooobama. Baraaaack Ooooobama." Erin is providing backup vocals for him...then pops in with a little soprano "John McCain."

The Great Pumpkin Patch

Here we are at our favorite pumpkin patch, the Great Pumpkin Patch in Arthur, IL. We had the place practically to ourselves on October 31st and the weather was, as Drew will often say, "Two words: Awe. Some." However, neither was in a picture taking mood. In fact, at one point Drew asked why I take their picture. Well, dude, maybe it's because your Dad has about 3 pictures from his childhood and your Mom remember the era when you sent your pictures in to be developed. When they came back, you might have 4 season's worth of stuff on there. Hopefully he'll be grateful when he's 25 that his momma took a few shots now and again.

Boo at the Zoo

By gum we were determined to get our money's worth out of the kids' costumes this year! Drew's friend Connor was nice enough to give us his old Batman outfit. He ended up wearing that one to Scovill Zoo's Boo at the Zoo (in Decatur, IL) while Erin wore her Care Bear outfit for the 3rd time. Scovill did a really nice job with the decorations and the candy stations. We didn't see many animals but neither of them seemed to mind!

Welcome to the Drew Club

Drew announced to us that over Fall Break he would be forming a new club: the Drew Club. Of course, Drew would never just state things that plainly. It was more like, "Mom and Dad, tomorrow I'm going to make a new club. The Drew Club. Where the motto is: 'Drew is always right.'"

I regret to inform you, gentle readers, that his club is quite exclusive. He hasn't even asked his sister to join yet. (And after hearing the motto, she may be reluctant to join anyhow.) Sadly, I have already been ejected from said club. I needed to leave the club temporarily to assert my motherly bossiness. Drew then informed me that if I left, I would not be able to return. He was quite upset about this. I reminded him that being his club and his rules, he could amend those rules as necessary to allow Mommies back into the club after temporarily leaving to do Mommy things. Dejectedly, he told me that the rules are permanent. No word yet on whether Daddy has a fighting chance of membership.

Gymnastics fun

Mondays are Erin's favorite day of the week: GYMNASTICS DAY! Here are a couple of pics from a recent class.

This one is terribly fuzzy (either I need a new camera or a new camerawoman) but you can see Erin going to town on the bar. Her instructor is Mrs. Shelby Livengood from Fit 4 Fun in Covington.

Erin with Lily, Hope, and Allie.

Erin in her new leotard. She slept in it for two nights and would only go to the sitter's house with clothes on top of it.

Drew did indeed give up Tae Kwon Do and will be starting gymnastics tomorrow. Hopefully he'll enjoy it as much as she does.

Creepy Classics

Nearly every year Drew and I have gone to Lafayette's Long Center to see "Creepy Classics" performed by the symphony orchestra at Purdue. It's so much fun because the entire orchestra dresses in costume and the Long Center is really decked out. This year Erin was old enough to come along and our friend Aaron also joined us. (Note to self: do not befriend children whose names are homonyms for your own. It makes yelling at your child ever so confusing for the friend.)

Here's Drew and Aaron at Mickey D's prior to the performance:

Aaron was Mace Windu and Drew was Darth Vader. Their Mutt and Jeff size difference makes me giggle.

After the performance, the boys continued their fighting ways outside.

Erin was oblivious to the fighting. This is one of my favorites of her as a Care Bear.

One on one time with "Er Bear"

In mid-October Erin and I went to Indy to the "Boo at the Zoo." It was nice to have some alone time with my li'l girl. She especially enjoyed the walruses and meerkats that day. Surprisingly, she barely gave the elephants a glance...this from the girl who wanted a baby elephant for Christmas just a couple of years ago!

Shh, I'm a bigamist

Erin has been fascinated with weddings lately. She has a picture of herself dancing with Bruce at niece Melissa's wedding last year, which she refers to as "when I married Daddy." She has also been looking at our wedding album (now 8 years old!) and is absolutely enamored with all of it. So yesterday when we get home, she announces that she and I are going to "get married."


Dress? Check. Notice that her blankie dress is the ever-popular strapless variety. (And on a side note...will that fad end soon, please? I am SO over seeing strapless gowns at every.single.wedding. But moving on...) Flowers? Check. Or rather, flower. Head covering? Check. But wait--the head covering is not quite right. And the color of the dress is all off. Let's try again:

Ahh, this is more like it.

The perils of having a blanket-style strapless dress--or any strapless dress, really--is that it often works its way down. I tried to correct this by tying the blanket in a knot...to which she responded by slamming down the flower, throwing down the blanket, and declaring that I had "ruined our wedding." Geesh, what a Bridezilla.

And, of course, a wedding ensemble would not be complete without the proper footwear. Folks from the Isle of Whack will be pleased to see that she did not choose Crocs for the occasion.

After our quickie ceremony, we danced for a couple of minutes. There was no honeymoon. We are registered at Toys R Us. For those of you trying to work out the logistics, Drew is now her brother and her stepson. How sad that our union is not recognized by any of the contiguous states. Or anywhere else.

Farewell, Putt Putt

The Lafayette Putt Putt is shutting down permanently at the end of October...another institution gone. Drew is really bummed about that. For one last hurrah, we went last Saturday and played for over an hour. You can't beat $7 for "all you can play." And Erin's still free 'cuz she's under age 5--which is just as well since she mostly danced around, climbed steps, etc. Here are some pictures:

Mr. GQ

Erin loves the elephant almost as much as the actual golfing.

Buddy

I keep forgetting to post a picture of our new dog, Buddy. He's our cocker-spaniel/beagle mix and is about 19 months old now. We got him the day after getting back from Disney World. I highly recommend getting a dog who's already a year old and been housebroken. I do not highly recommend getting a dog the day after getting back from Disney World.

So much sass for a 3 year old

Where exactly does a 3 year old girl's attitude come from? Her sitter had quite a time with Erin the other day. Another child, Aubrey, is about the same age as Erin and they have similar interests--you know, dressing up, playing with dolls, undressing, playing with stuffed animal, re-dressing, playing school, and dressing up. Oh, and dressing up. Anyhow, these two little ladies love each other but fight like cats and dogs. Apparently on this particular day they really got on each other's last nerve. One would proclaim that she was no longer her friend. This would prompt a retaliatory gesture such as hitting or taking a toy away. Then the offended child would threaten to "call mommy" and tell of the other girl's bad deeds--which apparently they would then do via fake cell phone. As the caller would line out all of the other girl's bad deeds, the other girl would sob and talk about how hurt her feelings were. Surely the sitter would have gladly taken a bullet to avoid hearing this constant go-round. She finally did get sick of it and told the girls that the next one to act up would get a REAL call to Mom or Dad. Aubrey immediately turned pale. Erin's gleeful response: "You can't call my mommy and daddy. They're at work."

Another Drew story

This one is funnier. Today he showed me a picture he'd recently made at school. He'd had to draw pictures of himself as a "helper" at home, school, and in the community. His home picture had him helping vacuum the floor (so obviously this picture was a work of fiction, heh), the school picture was of him raising his hand in class, and the community picture was him as an army guy. Now perhaps this won't translate as funny on a blog, but when he said, "Look, Mommy! This part of the army picture is where I'm shooting bullets uncontrollably." I about fell over laughing. Uncontrollably?

Tae Kwon Do no more?

Drew has been SO pumped about tae kwon do. He has gone for a month now and has just been ridiculously excited about going. Well, the instructor pulled me aside after Tuesday's lesson and said he's been playing more than learning and that we should consider taking him out. I was floored--he'd never said ANYTHING about Drew's behavior prior to this and Drew has always acted as though he'd enjoyed the lessons afterward. (I was also a little peeved that we'd just spent $20 on a uniform for him and have paid through the next month...though that can probably be refunded.) I'm hoping that after we talk with him, Drew will be better behaved and able to continue.





Here's a picture of him all decked out--and I can't figure out how to make this picture upright, grrr:

Boiler Up!

Bruce ended up with an extra ticket to today's Purdue/Central Michigan game. After a fruitless last-minute search for a sitter, he ended up taking Erin instead of me. She lasted about 2 3/4 quarters before morphing into Princess Hyde. Here are the two superfans with Purdue Pete:

Splinters--they ain't just for wood

I'm talking about Drew, of course. He's such a wonderful combination of book-smart and young nut. Yesterday he just amazed me. Tuesday is Tae Kwon Do night and we always go out to eat before his lesson. We went to Black and Gold Pizza in Covington (great place, incidentally) and Drew noticed a Sudoku book on a shelf with coloring books, etc. for the younger patrons' amusement. It was a regular old sudoku book with the 3x3 grids. Incredulously, I asked him if he was going to attempt to do it himself. His reply? "Mom, this one's only a two-star. Please." And then he proceeded--with only my assistance of picking out the easiest places to go--to do the whole thing in about 15 minutes.

So why does this kid still need reminded to eat with utensils? And yesterday he spent a good 5 minutes spinning around in the hallway after school. Just, you know, spinning around for the heck of it. Such a silly saladhead.

Were it not for DVR's, he'd probably go Amish

Bruce is a weirdo, I tell you. Yesterday he was busy baking in the kitchen (eat your heart out, ladies--but note that he does not necessarily CLEAN the kitchen afterward. Amazing where bits o' food can end up when he's done there) and I realize he's making something that calls for brown sugar. I knew for a fact that we were out of brown sugar so I asked if he'd just left it out or found a recipe that didn't call for it. But nooooo, Bruce isn't that simple. He, of course, had made his own brown sugar using white sugar and molasses. Do normal adult males know this can be done? For that matter, do normal females know this? And furthermore, since when did we have molasses around here? Huh? Huh?

In other news, Erin's unique take on our language never ceases to humor. We often call each other "Silly britches" or "crazy butt". Well, yesterday she called me a "silly salad head."

In less silly news, she's developed a bit of a stutter of late. I think it's the normal 3-4 year old stutter that many go through, but it's still strange to hear coming out of her mouth.

Let's see...Drew. He has us a little worried about Christmas. Since both kids only want 140% of what they see on tv commercials, we've been trying to point out that we don't have the proverbial money tree and that they'll have to prioritize. Good parenting stuff, right? Unfortunately, Drew then announces the other day that he's given it some thought and he's come upon a solution that will not break our bank: you see, SANTA doesn't have to worry about money. His elves make the toys. So he'll just ask Santa for the Nintendo DS...and the approximately 2048 games that can go with that...and the newest Rescue Heroes stuff...and Neopets...and Webkinz. He was absolutely BEAMING for having come up with this ingenius solution.

If anyone has a shovel large enough for us to dig ourselves out of this one, we'd appreciate it.

'Cuz I have soooo much free time already

Since I live on the computer all the time anyhow, I thought I'd start a blog. The kids, esp. Erin, are saying/doing funny things constantly and often the anecdotes don't make their journals. Hopefully this will help with that.